Anastasia Elise
Miracle Baby,
25 week preemie
Tips for Buying & Making Preemie Clothes
Tips on Preemie Development (including links to great toys)
How to Help Parents of Preemies
Recommended Books About Preemies
INTRODUCTION
Anastasia was born at 25 weeks gestation (15 weeks early)
after I experienced PROM (Premature Rupture of the Membranes) at 20 weeks into
the pregnancy. Anastasia weighed a mere 1 lb. 13 oz. That made her an extreme
(or micro) preemie.
The doctors didn't expect her to live, and listed myriad of health problems
(from cerebral palsy to blindness) she'd probably suffer if she did live. But
after 133 days in the hospital, Anastasia came home. Today, she's a healthy and
happy girl. She's our miracle baby!
On this website, you can read about her journey, get tips for feeding preemies
and other babies with aversions, read expert advice on preemie development, see
recommended books about premature infants, get tips on preemie clothing, and
more. I'm also now blogging about my second baby, with whom I had gestational
diabetes.
July 20, 2010
This weekend, we went to a local parade. The Miss was extremely subdued at first, but by the end of the parade, she was aggressive about snatching up any candy thrown out to the kids :) Zane loved almost every minute, immediately "getting into" the parade. I did discover, though, that Smokey Bear terrifies him - and that he likes to blow kisses to fire engines. He was also a big fan of the motorcycles, the horses, and an antique tractor.
Afterward, all Anastasia wanted to do was ride the ponies, as she did the year before. She rode them twice, looking a bit more relaxed than she did last year. Zane was perfectly content to watch and blow her kisses.
Zane is talking a bit more now. He has some Buzz Lightyear pjs, so my hubby sometimes calls him Bubba Lightyear. This weekend, Zane was saying that phrase over and over. And if you ask him what his name is, he'll often grin and say "Buuuubuuuuuh!" He's also said "I want that" a few times, and last night he even said "up."
His taste in literature is growing, too :) He thinks Moo Baa La La La is the funniest book ever.
The Miss is a hand full. She wakes up a lot at night, and then tends toward temper tantrums during the day - especially the end of the day. It's exhausting for everyone in the household. She's excited about starting kindergarten next year, and I'm hopeful that obeying a teacher might give her a new perspective on things.
July 8, 2010
* The day before Independence Day, Anastasia helped me make an apple pie. (She loves to use that apple peeler!) Because she and I both prefer to "do it myself," I let her make a mini pie She called it her "love you gift" to her daddy. She also insisted on putting raisins in the pie - something I never do - but which, I hear, tasted great :)
* We showed both kids backyard fireworks several days before Independence Day. They both adored them. (Zane clapped after every round.) When they were all gone, Anastasia chanted, "More fireworks! More fireworks!" So we promised to let her see her first "big" fireworks on the 4th. In the end, her daddy took her to the local racetrack to watch a race, then see some fireworks. It was a very late night, but the next morning, she was ready to do it all over again.
* Me (after Anastasia tried to punish Zane for some small offense): "You're not the mommy."
Anastasia: "I AM the mommy...of my plastic babies."
* Anastasia to Zane, as he tried to unplugged my computer from the wall: "Stop that, Zane, or you'll be electrocuted and you'll die and you're my only baby brother!"
* Anastasia to Zane, after he stole one of my kitchen gadgets for the zillionth time: "Zane, try to make this a good day for Mommy."
* Zane has become quite the blower of kisses, though he sometimes forgets to send them on their way - because he's having too much fun making blowing sounds against his hand.
* Zane now makes several animal noises: Monkey, cat, and dog.
* Hubby to Zane, who was begging shamelessly for hubby's food: "I'll give you some if you say 'please.'"
Zane looked down and his lower lip began to quiver, and he was just about to sob when my hubby gave him food out of guilt. We think Zane might have been thinking something like: "Oh no! Now they want me to talk before I can eat! I'll STARVE!"
* Zane is talking a wee bit more. When we read, he practices words - vey quietly and shyly. For example, yesterday he said "tractor" and "plow." A few days back, he actually said, "I want that!"
* Most people seem surprised Zane isn't talking more. Although he's 21 months old, he's wearing some 3T clothes now, so he looks like he should be much older than he is.
* From the moment he first realized his sister could ride the spring horse in our living room, Zane has longed to ride it, too. Well, last week he managed to climb onto the horse (all by himself), ride it (all by himself) and get off (all by himself). He spends a lot of time on that thing now :)
June 23, 2010
Zane really seems less like a baby and more like a little boy every day. He is protective of his sister, often running to her and hugging her when she cries, and is quite the brave little soul. For example, he's still terribly fearful of having his hair cut, but last time we did this (shortly before our long trip to Grandpa's house), he never cried or complained. He did, however, shake violently and was happy to hold my hand.
He's also proving himself quite the gadget guy. His arms and hands shake when he gets his hands on a new gadget - whether it be an automatically dispensing measuring tape or his daddy's digital grill thermometer. (My hubby says he still shakes inwardly when he gets his hands on a new gadget, too.) And he often tries to take apart toys - seemingly to see how they work. For example, we have a toy caterpillar that teaches music, letters, and such, but he doesn't seem to see it as a music box or a pretend animal. He seems to see it as a machine. And a few days ago he spent at least 45 minutes trying to open up the bottom. I'm sure he would have succeeded if he'd had the right tool, but he was using the only thing on hand: A plastic fork.
Last weekend, when Zane saw his cousins riding a go cart, he was all eyes. He stood back and made little noises until I told him it was okay to go up to the cart. Then he ran as fast as he could, making hyperventilating noises, and climbed inside, sitting on the bottom of the cart. He seemed to know exactly what it was - without being told - and he couldn't wait for a ride. (Contrast this with the rides at the Boardwalk, which he showed no interest in.)
After he saw Anastasia take a ride in the go cart, Zane climbed in.
Daddy strapped him properly into a seat and put a protective arm around him for his first ride. He sucked his thumb most of the ride and when the engine stopped and the seat belt was removed, he climbed out quickly. But then he tried to climb back in - as if he was thinking: "That was really scary. Let's do it again!"
Anastasia was pretty thrilled with the go cart, too.
Her insomnia continues to be a problem. Even when she goes to sleep on her own or with medication, she wakes up frequently. Sometimes she complains of nightmares, other times that she simply can't sleep.
Perhaps all that laying in bed, unable to sleep, is what inspired her to name her hands and feet. For quite a while now, she's called her hands Elkin and Delkin and her feet Socket and Rocket. One day she even told me an elaborate story about Elkin and Delkin's bird becoming ill. She has quite the imagination!
Anastasia with one of her cousins....And so proud of a book we wrote together about animals we saw near Grandpa's house.
June 16, 2010
Forgive me for not updating you sooner. We've been busy, busy! Last week we traveled to visit my dad, so preparing for the trip, traveling, visiting, and trying to catch up after the trip have eaten all my time.
The weekend before we left to visit Dad, we visited a little local nursery that has a play area for kids, plus some farm animals. Zane adores any type of animal, and he loves the little peddle cars at the place. Anastasia loves all the attractions, too - especially feeding the goats.
Often, we check on Zane before we go to bed and discover his bed sheet partially off. In the picture above, it was almost entirely off. I always thought he was just pulling off his sheet for "fun," but because I slept in the same room with him on our trip, I discovered he's an incredibly restless sleeper.
Anastasia riding on a horse swing, and playing in Grandpa's orchard.
The Miss and Zane playing at a little farm near Grandpa's. Zane's thumb sucking is nearly constant these days.
Anastasia ate better than expected throughout the trip, but it's a good thing there was always ice cream around! In fact, after several meals, she just assumed there would be, saying: "I'll take my ice cream now, please."
Top: Anastasia feeding the animals - with some trepidation. Bottom: Zane chewing on pebbles. He also had a wonderfully positive experience with some dogs here, and said, for the first time, "Doggie!" Later he told his Auntie "Bye!"
During this trip, we attended my nephew's wedding. The Miss tried to make friends with some girls there, but they were slightly older than her, and she had little luck. But she did find this little boy to hang out with. Here they are watching the wedding speeches. Later, he asked Anastasia to dance - and they did. He swung her around so hard, she fell repeatedly - but she didn't seem to mind. Once another little girl "cut in," but Anastasia made sure to cut right back in.
Anastasia grooving with her uncle. Here's a video, too. Behaviorally, she did very well throughout most of the trip, but I did swat her bottom once at the wedding. She replied (very loudly, making all around us laugh), "That's not appropriate behavior, Mommy!" Unfortunately, she only had one night where I didn't have to medicate her in order for her to sleep.
Zane fussed and cried all through the wedding. It turned out he was hungry, but finally, at the very end of the ceremony, I put him down and let him play in some straw. This kept him happy until dinner.
Eating carrots we brought for the horses and goat.
Poor Zane was too tired to enjoy the wedding much, but he did sit here for quite a while and watch the dancing.
The Miss experiencing her first banana slug.
Playing at the Boardwalk. The Miss always looks so serious about these things, but she had a grand time.
Top: The kids geared up for a boat right. Bottom: Miss A. driving the boat.
Wading in the ocean for the first time.
Having fun with her cousin.
Zane mostly rested on the boat, but he did perk up when we fed sea lions.
Playing at Grandpa's house.
Miss A's first swimming lesson, with her Auntie. She was scared at first, but soon proved herself a fish. By the end of the session, she was doggie paddling all over the pool by herself.
We visited a fancy restaurant, and the waitress was astonished to see Anastasia eat a large piece of flourless chocolate cake nearly by herself.
Enjoying Grandpa's garden.
Enjoying all his pretty cousins.
We all missed Daddy very much. (He stayed home.) Miss A's pining was pathetic, but look at the bliss on her face once we got home. Upon arriving home, she said, "Now I can be in my own bed and dream my regular dreams."
According to the Miss, she's ready to go fishing.
May 28, 2010
Yes, that is Zane eating a banana...peel and all. His eating habits couldn't be more different from Anastasia's! (And, um, no, I don't normally feed him bananas with the peel. He stole this one and started chomping on it before I knew what was happening.)
Zane likes to sit at the table with his sissy while she does schoolwork. He's just started scribbling a little with crayons. He sometimes eats them, too, and if he gets his hands on a marker, he'll suck the thing dry.
The other day, when Anastasia was still working on some school work, Zane scooted into her chair and intently watched her work. He's really turning into a little mimic. The other day, while I vacuumed, he got out his toy vacuum and vacuumed alongside me. When I turned my vacuum over to clean the brush roll, he turned his vacuum over, too, and started "working" on it.
She's shockingly big, isn't she?
Rather suddenly Anastasia says she is her dollie's "Mother." A few nights ago she insisted on dressing the doll in a matching nightie, and she told me "the most important part of being a mother is putting your baby to bed and changing it's clothes and putting it's clothes away."
While waiting in the doctor's office the other day, she ran across a simple boat toy. She said, "What does it do, Mommy?" I told her it floats in the water. She said, "Is this an electronic toy?" When I told her it wasn't, she put it back in the toy box.
And to keep the preschool attitude coming, the other day I caught her praying, "Dear God, why do we have toenails?"
Anastasia's last appointment with the neurologist did not go so well. He was perfectly pleased with the number of hours of sleep she gets ("I see kids who get maybe 4 or 5 hours a night," he said). He didn't think there was anything else he could do for her. When I wondered aloud how she'll get through kindergarten when she's so exhausted all the time, he told me I could call him if things change. I was really disappointed. BUT the good news is he gave us a prescription for Rozerem, a pill that at least gets her to sleep, even if it doesn't keep her there.
Although it doesn't help the Miss much, she's pretty good about keeping quiet when everyone else is asleep. The other day, while I was still in bed, I heard Elvis quietly singing "Hound Dog." I thought I heard feet stomping, too. So I snuck around the corner to the kitchen and discovered Anastasia dancing while she waited for everyone else to get up :)
May 18, 2010
This weekend, we traveled two hours (one direction) to visit my in-laws. Anastasia had a fabulous time; Zane likes it pretty well, too, but he hates being in his car seat for more than an hour and a half. Both kids were exhausted by the time we got home, around 7pm. The next day, we had guests over for half the day. Miss A. loves that; Zane, not so much. By Monday, the kids were in utter exhaustion. This makes Zane really grumpy - and sleepy, although he won't usually sleep more than he normally does. The consequences for Anastasia are more profound. I haven't been able to get her to drink more than 8 oz. of anything since our Saturday excursion - and then, only by threatening loss of priviledges. She's barely eating, too. And while her behavior certainly could be worse, she's uber grumpy and has little to no impulse control.
And I'm planning on taking both kids on a week long trip away from home soon.
I'm really questioning my judgment here. If Anastasia is away from home for a week, it will take her at least a week to get rested again. That means she'll be eating and drinking very little for two weeks.
In most ways, Anastasia seems like any other 4 1/2 year old. But in some ways, she's still that delicate little preemie.
Left: The Miss, eagerly waiting for guests to arrive. Right: Zane helping with yard cleanup. He likes to mop and vacuum, too :)
The kids and me after a long day. Is it normal to be exhausted every single day?
May 14, 2010
Things have taken a turn for the worse. Anastasia is back to having behavioral problems that seem to be brought on by lack of sleep. It's really miserable for all of us. My husband, in particular, only sees Anastasia when she's exhausted, and every evening seems ruined by temper tantrums, in-your-face behavior, and disobedience. I am now usually putting the Miss in bed by 7 pm, because she's so obviously out of her mind tired. The good news is she stays in bed and doesn't get up a million times before falling asleep.
Her May 20th appointment with the neurologist can't come soon enough.
To make things more difficult, I've had horrible pain that appears to be related to my C-sections. It had been better for many months, but it came back with a vengeance this month. Then my dad had an emergency quadruple bypass...and now I'm trying to plan a trip down with the kids to see him next month. Most days I can't think beyond getting through the day, so trying to prepare for the trip seems impossible.
My tired girl, after eating a yogurt popsicle - the old stand by for days when she won't drink enough fluids.
Anastasia periodically climbs into Zane's play pen. Can you see the dark circles under her eyes?
Zane is a gadget guy, through and through. He always tries to take my camera away.
"Helping" in the garden.
April 20, 20010
We are now two weeks into the sleep specialist's regimen for Anastasia and I think she's grown used to her new bedtime (which is an hour later than usual). So used to it, she's now not quite as cooperative at bedtime, is waking repeatedly at night, and often seems tired during the day. She's also gotten into the habit of listening to her CD player as she falls asleep. The good news remains, however, that she's much better behaved.
By the way, the one night I used Rozerem with last week, she fell asleep quickly, but was up repeatedly through the night. We'll see how things pan out in another week.
In other news, Zane is suddenly quite the big boy. Almost to the day of turning 18 months, he began showing great interest in books - especially those with photographs of vehicles or heavy equipment. I think we've read My Big Truck Book about a gazillion times now.
Zane's fun to watch as we read. He studies each picture carefully, often drooling or sucking his thumb (two signs he's concentrating hard). If you ask which picture is his favorite, he'll often point, and about 85% of the time if you ask him to point to a certain type of machine (a backhoe, a front end loader, etc.), he points to the correct picture.
Zane is also suddenly comfortable playing outside - to the point of throwing a small temper tantrum if it's time to come in. And today at library story time, for the first time he got off my lap and really played.
He also suddenly seems to realize Miss A's body isn't quite like his. Anastasia has an immodest way of running around the house naked. (She thinks it's quite hysterical.) A few days ago, as she did this, Zane looked at her, pointed, laughed - and then tried to touch.
***
Miss A: "Mommy, I'm parting my bones!" (It took me a minute to realize she meant she was stretching out her rib cage.)
Miss A: "How do you take baths in heaven? How
does God wash up? ...Maybe God just bathes us in his love."
April 26, 2010
Last night was my craziest night ever as a mom. First, I had terrible insomnia. Then Anastasia woke up with a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. She was awake for about 4 hours, and because I was unsure whether I could give her Rozerem (the prescription drug the neurologist gave us) on top of the Melatonin I gave her at bedtime, I could do little to help her get back to sleep. Then Zane woke up twice. I think I got about 3 hours sleep. Not nearly enough for me.
The worst part was I had to wake the kids up in the morning, because Zane had a pediatrician check up. The good news is that although Zane was clingy and terribly shy for his checkup, the appointment went smoothly. He didn't cry - he just pressed himself against me and took little ragged breaths when he was afraid. He is still in the 95th percentile for weight and 90th percentile for his height. He weighs 31 lbs. and is 34 inches tall.
This weekend was beautiful, so we spent almost all of it outdoors. We got the swing set back up (we'd taken it down to trim a tree in our yard) and filled the sandbox with fresh sand. Anastasia was jumping and squeaking all over the place. In fact, she said "I'm squeaking for joy!"
She also helped her daddy split wood with the wood splitter. He wasn't going to let her help, but she was in tears because she really wanted to be his helper. She ended up doing a fantastic job, and was so proud afterward. I also tried to teach her a little bit about weeding. She was more interested in the bugs she found in the soil, but twice she shouted - at the top of her lungs, of course - "Look, Mommy! Here's some weed!"
Zane is suddenly all about playing outside. He discovered the toy wagon, and seemed to fall in love with the toy shovel. When we finally had to take him indoors, he screamed and kicked in protest. On Sunday night, I plopped the kids into the tub, and the water turned instantly brown :) Then Anastasia prayed: "Dear God, why do we have toe nails?"
Later, Zane made little tickling motions around my neck and said, "Ickle, ickle, ickle!"
How I love those little people!
April 24, 2010
After about a week of following the neurologist's sleep recommendations, we think we see some improvement. It's true that sometimes Anastasia still wakes up at night, and it's true that she still sometimes seems really sleepy, but we've also found her behavior sooooo much better. She's only had one meltdown/temper tantrum this week, and the rest of the time has been really well behaved. She also goes to bed much more willingly; we never have to send her back to bed multiple times.
The little wrist device she wore for almost a week is now in the doc's hands. I should hear back from him next week some time to see if it reveals Miss A. is a restless sleeper.
It's hard to get good photos of Miss A. these
days. Mostly we get images like this (her Jay Leno impression).
Left: One of Anastasia's poor, long-suffering cousins giving her a horsey ride. Right: Being silly at the dinner table.
Left: We often laugh because Zane is such an enthusiastic eater...and his sister is not. Right: Zane's typical expression when he spots a new gadget in action.
Lovin' the sunny weather.
Learning to love books.
April 17, 2010
Yesterday, Anastasia saw the neurologist/sleep specialist. I really liked him. He spent nearly an hour with us, and was so patient and kind with Anastasia. Every time she'd interrupt, he'd stop what he was doing and listen to her and make a reply.
He began the exam by taking a history of the Miss' symptoms. He concluded she didn't need a sleep study (where the patient spends the night in the facility and gets hooked up to a computer to look for things like sleep apnea). This was a relief; I can't imagine getting Anastasia to sleep in a new place.
He then proceeded to say: "When children are tired, parents tend to put their kids to bed earlier. But that messes with the child's internal sleep clock. The child lays in bed, starts fantasizing, gets their brain in high gear, and then they fall asleep later than they should." I had to admit that sounded a lot like the Miss.
We have tried to putting Anastasia to bed later, but we've never done that for more than a few days. That, the doc says, was another mistake.
So the plan is to put the Miss to bed an hour later than usual for at least three weeks. If, after a half hour, she's not asleep, I can give her Melatonin. On more difficult nights, I can give her something called Rozerem. This, the doc says, was developed from a molecule in Melatonin, but while Melatonin puts you to sleep and keeps you there, Rozerem only "knocks you out." It gets you to sleep and wears off very quickly. He says there are no real side effects to this medication.
After about a month, we'll see how things are going. He thinks Anastasia will be well rested. In fact, he told me several success stories. In one, a seven year old girl with ADHD was going to bed at about 8:30 PM each night. but not falling asleep until about 1 AM. So the doc had the girl's mom put her to bed at 1 AM each night for three weeks. After that, they gradually pushed back her bedtime in 15 minute increments, until they discovered her "ideal" bedtime (which was about 9:30 PM). Basically, they reset her internal clock.
I feel really encouraged. The doctor has a lot of experience with children (and it's tough to find sleep specialists who deal with kids). Today, Anastasia is more refreshed than I've seen her in a while. She woke up an hour later than usual, and might have slept longer if I hadn't accidentally made a bunch of pots crash in the kitchen. It's true we were very busy yesterday, so that might account for her sleepiness. On the other hand, typically she won't sleep in, even when she's really exhausted.
A few other notes:
* Zane is pretty subdued when we shop. He likes to look around, but he's sober about it. But the other day, I took him into the toy section of a big box store. He remained subdued until I walked down the aisle with the toy trucks. Then he began squealing and waving (with both hands) at all the toys. He also squeals and waves at big rigs when we're on the highway.
* If you ask Zane, "How big is Zane?" and then reply, "So big!" he always raises his arms high in the air. But yesterday, he actually said "So bi-!" by himself. In fact, he was so delighted with all the attention that got him, he said it about thirty times in a row - sometimes getting stuck on the "Sooooooooooooooooo!"
* It seems I've always got Zane's socks, shoes, and jacket on long before Anastasia is ready to head out the door. Zane hates this and cries and complains at the Miss. (I tell him to "get used to it.") The other day, my hubby scooped Zane up while he complained and said, "Are you ready to go?" And Zane said "Ready!" Several times.
* Miss A.: "I think [the sleep doctor] likes me. I think he likes 4 year olds."
* Grandma, upon hearing Miss A. and one of her cousins arguing in another room: "Is someone in here being bossy?"
Miss A.: "Nobody....Except me."
April 11, 2010
Little updates:
* Today, the Miss spent the day a few hours away at her grandma's house, playing with her cousins. At breakfast, she told me: "I think I will stay for only three months." I replied, "Oh, but Mommy will miss you so much!" She replied: "I will write to you."
* Overheard prayer: "Please, God. Help Mommy to know I really want a microscope, even though I'm too young."
* On Easter weekend, we visited my in laws, who have a tropical bird with a tremendously loud squawk. As Zane sat in the high chair eating, I talked with the family. Suddenly we realized Zane was talking to the bird. He was mimicking that bird's awful squawk perfectly. Zane would "speak," then the bird would speak. Zane would squawk again. The bird would squawk again. The bird actually got really excited over all this. I tried to catch it on video, but every time I got out my camera, Zane stopped. (He's becoming camera shy.)
One of my nephews, upon hearing this story, said, "Zane's like Dr. Doolittle! He squeaks and squawks and talks with the animals!"
Later that evening, my mom-in-law made a seagull noise for Anastasia. Zane's head whipped around and he stared at her. Perhaps he was thinking, "You speak bird, too?"
On Easter, Zane was thrilled to have a plastic egg to open and shut. He could have cared less about the candy inside.
* Also on Easter weekend, my sis-in-law's eldest son asked if Anastasia was ready for the Easter Bunny. The Miss turned to me and said, "Mommy, why is he talking about the Easter Bunny when the Easter Bunny isn't real?"
I explained that her cousin was trying to be kind by saying the Bunny was real, just in case Anastasia didn't know he was pretend. She turned to her cousin and said haughtily, "Anthony. I know."
* Sometimes Anastasia astonishes me with her spiritual insight. Around Easter time she said: "Mommy, I think Satan doesn't want us to love God. I think Satan wants to be God." We've not taught her that, but it sure shows a great understanding!
Great grandma brought over these silly glasses for the kids.
April 2, 2010
Not much to report here, except to say that the white noise of a fan isn't working. I guess it was a coincidence that Anastasia slept in for a few days in a row. She now has a sleep specialist appointment at the end of this month. In the meantime, we are preparing for Easter! He is risen! He is risen, indeed!
This morning, Anastasia dyed eggs while Zane fussed in his playpen. Initially, he was watching us, but he couldn't keep his hands off the eggs. In fact, he grabbed one and went laughing and running through the house with it. Poor little guy. Next year he can dye some, too.
Zane loves to wear this toy stethoscope all day long. He's also really interested on ride on toys now. Here he is (right) laughing at himself for wearing his sister's hat, too.
March 29, 2010
Maybe, just maybe, the end is in sight for Anastasia's sleeping problems. It suddenly occurred to me that one thing she has in the summer but doesn't have in the winter is an air conditioner running in her room. Since I think she sleeps better in the summer, I wondered if she just needed some white noise at night. So we've been turning on a fan in her room - and for those three days she's slept much better! She's been asleep by about 7:30 or 8 pm, and doesn't wake until 8 or 8:30 am. I'm praying the solution is as simple as this!
Left: Just after this bite, Anastasia told me: "I'm always in the mood for chocolate! And books!" Right: Zane is a natural born eater :)
* Overheard: "'But I'm NOT tired!' said the crocodile, yawning." Miss A. talks non stop when she's pretending, and I love how she talks like she's writing a book.
* "Mommy, why can't I marry Zane when we grow up?" (I hear this question a lot.)
* Me: "Grandpa's on the phone. He wants to talk to you." Miss A. (putting the phone to her ear): "Dear God..."
Miss A's foot is on the left; Zane's is on the right.
March 20, 2010
Yesterday was so tough. Anastasia has just been tired, tired, tired. But I took her to the library for story time for the first time in a month and she was incredibly high strung. I've never seen her behave that way in public before. When we came home, it was tears all day long, and lots of disobedience and defiance. We've got to get this sleep thing figured out, or I don't know how she'll survive school. I know that if she continues like this, she won't be able to handle school every week day. Fortunately, that's not what we have planned for her. (We hope she'll be going to a charter school with only three classes every month; it's basically assisted home schooling.) But she can't go on like this. As soon as my hubby can get some time off work, we're taking her to the pediatric sleep specialist.
Spring has sprung, however. The sun is shining, which always helps, and we're outside a lot. Zane is still terribly unsure outside. He spends most of him time standing in one spot, sucking his thumb or clinging to my leg. This morning, for the first time, he actually started playing outside, running the toy lawn mower and putting small sticks in a bucket. We came inside for lunch, then I thought I'd let him play for a few minutes in the house before giving him his nap. But instead, he walked over to his bedroom door (which was shut), plopped himself down in front of it, and sucked his thumb. :)
Anastasia likes the idea of ballet, so I've taught her first position - but she's having trouble with plia :)
Anastasia no longer cries when she hears loud noises, but if her daddy is running noisy equipment in the backyard, she grabs a pair of ear protectors...and then is perfectly happy. She's also taken to devouring the chives I have growing. As you can see, she eats huge handfuls at a time.
Zane's typical attitude when he's outside. Anastasia is very protective of him; she often holds his hand when he's nervous, or goes up and gives him hugs.
My busy boy!
March 18, 2010
The kids have been well for about a week now. Anastasia never had to go back to the doctor; although she thought several times she'd vomit, she never did. Now we're busy trying to put more weight back on her.
We're continuing to use the light therapy lamp, although I haven't seen dramatic results from it yet. We also continue to use her "black out curtains" (ordinary curtains with black plastic pinned behind them), are sure to turn off her night light once she's asleep, and cover her with the borrowed weighted blanket. The weighted blanket does prevent her from tossing and turning so much at night, so in that respect, at least, it seems to help.
But we still struggle with getting her enough sleep. We think we're probably going to end up taking her to a local doctor who specialized in pediatric sleep problems.
Zane is keeping me uber busy. The second I turn my back, he's into something he shouldn't be. His new thing is putting the play pots and pans in my real pot and pan drawers. He's also fond of removing the baking sheets from my cupboards. But his really big fascination is doors and drawers. He can't stand to have one open. The second you open the door or a drawer, he appears (seemingly from no where) to shut it.
He is a big, bulky boy, and absolutely requires at least four big meals a day. If he doesn't get that fourth one in, he cries and cries in bed until I feed him.
Anastasia is learning how to read clocks (she has the hours down pat), and we continue to work on her number recognition. My mother bought her two Uncle Wiggly books, and she absolutely loves them, so we often play the Uncle Wiggly game. I make the Miss read all the cards (they have numbers showing how many steps forward or backward you can go) and this is excellent practice reading numbers. One day she confessed she thought I had her read them because "I read them better than you, Mommy!"
P. S. I am still giving the kids baths together, but
the other day, Anastasia cried, "Look, Mommy! Zane is growing boobies!"
March 10 (part II)
So the doc said to just watch the Miss. If she vomits again, however, she wants to see her right away.
In the meantime, I'm reading up on hypo oral sensitivities. Interesting stuff! The short checklist is:
* Loves and craves intense flavors, i.e., sweet,
sour, salty, spicy and usually become "condiment kids"
Yep! Anastasia is all about mustard, catsup, and
Ranch. She does seem to favor more intensely flavored foods, too, as
opposed to bland foods.
* May actually avoid mixed textures, since they are difficult to chew
and swallow properly when you can't "feel" the food in the mouth.
Oh yeah.
* Messy eater; getting food all over the face and/or leaving bits of
food in the mouths at the end of a meal. Yep!
Although she always insists on a napkin and cleans herself as she goes.
* Often takes large bites and stuffs the mouth, or even "pockets" food
in the cheeks. Oh my goodness, yes!
* Is inclined to not chew food thoroughly before swallowing.
Yep!
* Drools excessively beyond the teething stage.
Nope.
* Always seem to have something in the mouths; toys, pens, pencil tips,
gum, candy, or inedible objects (i.e., paper clips, rubber bands, shirt
sleeves and collars, strings...anything!) Yep!
I've recognized these symptoms for a long time, but just said, "It's because she had a tube running down her throat for so long." I never knew there was a name for it, let alone therapies that might help her eat better. The same site offers tips for picky eaters, which could prove really useful.
March 10, 2010
It's 2:30 AM. Anastasia is definitely not over her stomach bug. I just got through cleaning up several vomits. When the pediatric office opens, I will call to make an appointment for her. What a horrible bug! And I'm so weary, already. I tried sitting in the Miss' room with her until she fell back asleep (in case she vomits again), but all she wanted to do is talk. So I'll update this website, instead, while listening for signs of sickness in the other room.
As you may recall, I contacted Early Intervention recently, hoping they could give some advice on Anastasia's behavioral issues. Specifically, could they tell me if she had a sensory disorder? I took a bunch of written quizzes for EI, and it was clear Miss A. is quite behind in her gross motor skills, too. However, the physical therapist agreed with me that therapy at this point wouldn't be any better than simply getting Anastasia with kids her own age and a little older. In this setting, she is determined to do everything other kids do. Since we already plan on getting her swimming lessons this summer, and some sort of dance or movement class this fall, the therapist agreed formal therapy wasn't needed.
As for a sensory issue...Well, they don't like to give a definitive answer, since they are just basing things on a quiz (essentially, mom's observation), but the consensus seemed to be that if she has any sensory issues at all, they are in the area of needing more stimulation in the mouth. This may be why non-food objects still usually find themselves in her mouth, why she seems to like more strongly flavored foods, and why she's so enamored with her electric toothbrush. Again, they didn't want to say this wouldn't cause behavioral issues, but all three people I spoke to at Early Intervention seemed to believe sleep was the root of the Miss' behavioral problems.
So they verified my instinct.
Will Anastasia be receiving EI services? No. To qualify, she has to be behind in at least two areas; she's only behind in gross motor skills. And after age 5, she'd only qualify if she had a disability. However, EI gave me the name of a local doctor who specializes in pediatric sleep problems. They also leant me a weighted blanket - something I asked them about, since the mom of another preemie mentioned she used one for a time with her son. and that she herself (perfectly healthy) sleeps better with one.
Anastasia was instantly attracted to the blanket and is using it right now. Thank goodness she vomited on the floor and not on the borrowed blanket!
Zane hasn't had a fever for two days, but he's been sleeping a great deal. Then, today after eating lunch, he suddenly broke out into hives. He'd eaten nothing he hadn't eaten a million times before, so I have no idea what caused the hives. Thank you, God, that I caught them early this time - before I put him down for a nap. I gave him Zyrtec instead of Benadryl for the first time. It did seem to work more quickly, although it took all day for the hives to totally disappear.
I am one stressed out mama.
And now, a few tid-bits:
* This evening, my husband (who works for our city) was talking to a police officer outside our house. Anastasia was fascinated. She said, "But he can't be a police officer. His shirt isn't blue!" (...Like in picture books we have.) Then she noticed the logo on the side of his car - the same logo that's on her daddy's shirt and hat - and said, "That must mean he works for Daddy!"
* While in the bath with Zane today: "Mommy! He's playing with himself again!" Um, it may be time to give them separate baths.
* This morning, Anastasia overheard my hubby say it might snow a little bit today - the first snow of our winter. A few minutes later, I heard her tell him: "Mommy and I are going to build a snowman today!" Full of hope, she also wore her snow man shirt today. Unfortunately, it never did snow.
* Zane is at that age where he's afraid of strangers. Often, he cries when he sees them, or he clings to Mommy or Daddy. But just as often, he gives a most intimidating look. Today, when the Early Intervention gal brought over the weighted blanket, he kept his distance, but gradually came within 12 feet of her. When Anastasia, delighted over the weighted blanket, asked me to help her get it on her bed (it's quite heavy), he didn't cry when we left the room. But when I came back, I had to laugh. His stern look at tour visitor clearly said: "Don't even think about coming closer, lady!" I've never seen such a look on a baby! Another time, he gave the same look to a teenage girl, and she said, "I feel like I've done something really bad!" I think she was truly intimidated. Someday I hope to catch that look with the camera.
March 9, 2010
Although Anastasia vomited last night, I think she's actually over her stomach bug. She went two days without vomiting, but eating like a bird. Last night, my hubby pushed her to finish a sandwich. She vomited, but then proceeded to eat a donut! She has a naturally tendency to gag, anyway, so I think the illness just emphasized that.
Zane was without a fever yesterday and this morning, but this afternoon, he developed hives. Hives! He ate only foods he's eaten a million times before. So frustrating - but I'm glad I used Zyrtec for him for the first time. It worked much faster than Benadryll.
March 6, 2010
Anastasia has been living on air, it seems, nibbling a tiny bit of food here and there and drinking mostly what I give her through a syringe. Today, I pushed her a bit to eat some corn chips by telling her if she ate them, we'd go out in the sunshine during her brother's nap. She ate them all, then promptly threw them up.
Getting some fresh air today, and enjoying some spring blooms.
Zane's temperature is lower, but he's super clingy and grumpy. At night, I've been getting up every four hours to give him Tylenol.
March 5, 2010
Anastasia seems almost back to normal. She didn't resist getting fluids via the syringe, and hasn't vomited for two days. She's utterly exhausted, but I think she's over the hump.
Unfortunately, Zane now has a fever: 103 last night. He has no other symptoms, though, and I think he'll be better in a few days.
March 3, 2010
On Monday night, Anastasia began vomiting, and vomited every 15 minutes for 6 hours. The next day, she ate nothing and took only a few sips of water. I couldn't get her to drink Pedialite, Gatorade, or anything else. Last night, she woke us up: She had raided the fridge and ate a piece of pizza. This morning, she seemed on the mend, but after a few hours, threw up the pizza. I still couldn't get her to take anything but a few sips of water.
So we took her to the pediatrician. I was worried the melatonin I gave her could have caused the vomiting (it's a possible side effect), but the doctor said that was unlikely since Anastasia has had melatonin before without incident. She said there's a feverless stomach bug going around, so that's probably the problem. She noted Anastasia has already lost over half a pound, but she was mostly concerned the Miss was becoming dehydrated. In fact, we discussed the possibility of putting her in the hospital with an IV of fluids.
I'm now giving the Miss 5 ml of half Gatorade and half 7 Up - in a syringe - every five minutes. As you can imagine, this is slow-going, but when I was just giving Anastasia a cup of fluid, she wouldn't drink it. Fortunately, so far, she's kept all the fluids down, too.
I'm just hoping Zane (or I) don't develop a bug. I'm already exhausted from staying up all night Monday...
Left: We gave Anastasia her first haircut on the 26th of last month. Right: Zane has discovered ride on toys! And oh yes, he's making his first animal sounds now: Monkey "ooh! ooh!"s.
February 25, 2010
Anastasia doing school work near her light therapy lamp.
Anastasia is now officially doing Kindergarten school work, and has recently made some big strides in several areas. Last night, for the first time I think something clicked with reading. She constantly says she can't read, even though we are many books into her Hooked on Phonics program. It's mostly been a matter of confidence, but she also has some trouble going from merely sounding out the letters to putting them all together into a familiar word. Well, last night, I was reading Curious George Learns the Alphabet to her, having Anastasia read all the letters of the alphabet (which she can easily do). Then I asked her to read some of the words George made with the letters he'd just learned - things like "bed" and "bad." She did it easily and her eyes lit up with wonder.
She still struggles to count beyond 10, or to write most numbers, but we keep working on it. She's also had a lot of trouble learning to use scissors. I am tempted to think this is related to her prematurity, but my hubby says he had a hard time with scissors as a kid, too. But yesterday, she cut out some complex shapes with almost no help. She was so excited, she said: "I cut that out! I am awesome!"
We use a dry erase board for a lot of Anastasia's school work, but the other day I turned around and discovered this scene. The Miss was saying, "Now, show everyone how silly you look, Zane!" She couldn't understand why writing on her brother was wrong; after all, the ink would just wipe off with a towel, right? Fortunately, the ink proved easy to remove with a wet towel - although I couldn't quite get inside Zane's ear to remove all the green ink!
Anastasia is clearly ready to get out of the house this spring. She keeps talking about going to the zoo, which we plan to do soon, and this morning she said: "I want to go to the zoo and the jungle. Mommy, you can bring your pepper spray in case we run across any mean animals."
***
After a lot of thought and prayer, hubby and I decided to call Early Intervention for Anastasia. Anastasia failed miserably for gross motor skills on their online test. She could do almost nothing they think kids her age should do. I'm not super worried about this, to be honest. For one thing, I'm not sure how much physical therapy helped her in the past. Also, she'll be taking swimming lessons this summer, and while I know she will struggle, the struggle will be good for her. But this test failure did give me an excuse to call our old case worker and talk to her about Anastasia's behavioral problems. The case worker said she'd confer with the physical/occupational therapist and get back to us by next week.
I really hesitate to get "into the system" again, but even the private developmental services in our area are publically funded. And since I don't drive and Early Intervention services come to our house, I'd rather go that route.
Zane is still doing great. He's sometimes sitting
with us while we read, which absolutely delights me. He's sometimes
awfully grumpy, but I think this is mostly because he's refusing to use
words to tell us his wants and needs :) He continues to eat a huge
amount of food; in fact, he's now eating four meals a day. I have to
watch him closely when Anastasia is eating in her lackadaisical way.
He's learned he can swoop in, grab some of her food, and run off
quickly. The other day he did this with half a mandarin orange, and when
I caught him, he had juices running all over his face and chest...
February 22, 2010
We continue to have sleeping and behavioral problems with Anastasia. We did buy her a light therapy lamp, and we're using it every day. It's too soon for it to be having any effect on her yet. In the meantime, I'm at my wit's end trying to deal with the Miss' behavior issues. Last week, my mom watched the kids while I went to the dentist, and when I returned she complained about Anastasia's behavior. I said, "This is old news!"
At four, she shouldn't be having temper tantrums any more - at least not often. I've read a huge stack of parenting books, and while they offer some ideas that help a bit, no discipline takes care of the problem fully. Sometimes I just think that part of her brain is still immature due to her prematurity.
She wears me out and we are praying hard for peace in our household.
Zane is doing well. We finally found some hard-soled shoes that fit his wide and fat (top to bottom) feet, so he walks around outside now. The timing couldn't be better, since it's been sunny here and I want the kids to play outside more.
When we're outside, Zane is mostly interested in the tricycle; he examines the wheels carefully, and sometimes tries to ride it. Anastasia mostly wants to swing, climb trees, and play hide and seek - jumping out as soon as I say "Ready or not, here I come!" Outdoor playtime usually comes to an end when a tired Zane falls and gets dirty hands; this always freaks him out :)
February 8, 2010
* Miss A., upon seeing her brother pick up Lincoln
Logs willingly and getting praised for it, began picking some up
herself. She said: "Hmmm. Picking up can be fun after all."
* The other day, when I got Zane up from his nap, I said, "Do you feel
better?" He said, "I feel better." I said, "Oh, I like that!" And he
said, "I like that!"
* Zane had his second hair cut yesterday. He was trembling, he was so afraid. But I held his hand and he was very brave.
* This morning, Zane woke up hungry. He was crying "Kiwi! Kiwi!" before I could even get him out of his crib.
* An interview with Anastasia today:
What is something Mommy always says to you?
“Pick up your toys”
What is Daddy always saying to you?
“Stay away from tools that are dangerous!”
What makes Mommy happy?
Picking up my toys.
Daddy?
Staying away from tools that are dangerous.
What makes Mommy sad?
Not picking up my toys.
Daddy?
Not staying away from tools that are dangerous.
How does your Mommy make you laugh?
Making funny faces. And tickling me.
Daddy?
By making hang upside down.
What was your Mommy like as a child?
You had long hair, just like me.
Daddy?
He looked like Zane.
How old is your Mommy?
35
Daddy?
45
How tall is your Mommy?
80 feet tall.
Daddy?
10 feet tall. As tall as the trees.
What is your mommy's favorite thing to do?
Make me laugh.
Daddy?
Make me laugh.
What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Work and work and work and work!
Daddy?
He looks around.
If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Having me pick up my toys.
Daddy?
Doing such a good job cleaning up after he uses the bathroom.
What is your mommy really good at?
Making me laugh.
Daddy?
He’s good at going to work. That’s what he’s good at.
What is your mommy not very good at?
Keeping Zane out of my room.
Daddy?
I can’t think of anything.
What does your mommy do for a job?
Moping.
Daddy?
Fix things.
What is your mommy's favorite food?
Carrots.
Daddy?
Carrots.
What makes you proud of your mommy?
When you play the piano.
Daddy?
When he does me a favor.
If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Little Bear.
Daddy?
Duck.
What do you and your mommy do together?
Work on our computers.
Daddy?
Play and play and play.
How are you and your mommy the same?
Because we both have long brown hair.
Daddy?
We both have matching hair.
How are you and your mommy different?
Because you’re tall and I’m little.
Daddy?
Daddy has a haircut and I don’t.
How do you know your mommy loves you?
Because you hug me.
Daddy?
He hugs me.
What does your mommy like best about your daddy?
Cuz he’s ten feet tall. Like my arm.
Daddy?
He likes about you because you’re a girl. And not a boy.
Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
Grocery shopping.
Daddy?
He likes going grocery shopping when there’s no Swine Flu.
Anastasia using a (child sized) rolling pin for the first time. She loves to help in the kitchen!
February 3, 2010
Last week, Anastasia saw her pediatrician. She's inched up to the 25th percentile, being 40 inches tall and 35 1/2 pounds. Naturally, most of my conversation with the doctor centered around the Miss' sleep issues. The doc seems to think Anastasia may have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which (as the weather grows gray) can disrupt sleep patterns, disrupt the body's internal clock, and change the body's natural levels of melatonin. She suggested light therapy - where you purchase a special lamp and spend so much time under it each day - especially if we notice Anastasia's symptoms improving in the spring and summer.
She said that if the melatonin supplements I'm giving her stop working, our only other alternative is hard core medication. A sleep study might be possible, but she agreed with me that it's difficult to obtain accurate results with a small child who'd find the clinic setting disturbing.
In other news, Anastasia and I visited a charter school in our area. I was highly impressed. The kindergarteners began the day with their character study, learning the meaning of the word "discernment." They also did some critical thinking, and multiplication by 5s and 10s. They played store with real money, then did some adding problems on paper. We left before they were done for the day, but the class was not only scholarly, but there was great order and discipline in the room, while still providing a friendly and fun atmosphere.
I'm not quite sure Anastasia is ready for school. She needs to be five by September, which she will be, but if she hadn't been born over three months premature, she would have had to wait another year. Classes are only once a week for three weeks out of the month (basically the school offers assisted home schooling, complete with field trips and an allowance for extra-curricular activities), so school begins at 9 AM and ends at noon. That's a long time for her to concentrate. And while I realize the Kindergarteners have been in school for about four months, I was surprised how advanced they are - writing in cursive and doing actual math problems. Anastasia (who, admittedly has a long name) still has a hard time printing her name. Still, I think we will give it a go come September. The worse that can happen is we topull her from the class until the following year.
Zane continues to do well. He's really cranky a lot of the time, but I think he's teething and growing, which makes any kid cranky. He talks - sometimes. A few times he's told me "I hungry" and similar things, but he still mostly resists talking. He's a fanatic about the vacuum and already tries to use it on his own. And he takes apart any gadget he gets his hands on :)
January 20, 2010
The day after I posted last, Melatonin began failing us. Anastasia has been up during the night for several nights; I upped her dose a wee bit, and that seemed to help, but I can't keep upping it so frequently. (There is a risk of seizure if the dose is too high.) I'm thankful Miss A. has a delayed yearly physical with her pediatrician at the end of the month.
I'm also closely examining how we've dealt with discipline in this house. I'm reading Have a New Kid by Friday, and so far, I'm impressed. It focuses on our main concern: If Anastasia is back talking, disrespectful, and disobedient now, how much worse will she be later? We need to nip this in the bud! The premise of the book is that if your kids are misbehaving, it's likely they are reacting (instead of responding) to your own behavior. Ouch. The author says that if you implement his strategy, your kid will be well behaved within five days. I haven't finished the book yet, but I'll let you know if his ideas pan out!
We've officially ended our sequestered period (begun last spring, due to H1N1). Last Friday, we went to library time; poor Miss A. was so excited. How we've missed the library! It was fun to see how vastly improved her social skills are now, too. She wasn't overly shy with the man who reads the books (she used to practically curl up into a little ball when he so much as looked at her), she answered his questions politely and clearly when he talked to her, and in general she was far less shy. She does still have a tendency to gravitate toward the boys, though. She was sitting next to a boy of about three, and gradually placed her hand on his shoulder. He didn't complain, although he twitched his shoulder. Pretty soon, Anastasia had her arm around his shoulders; he didn't quite know how to react! Later, I saw Anastasia stand in front of a boy with her arms on his shoulders. He, being younger than her, stood, dumbfounded. When she moved her face right up to his, I thought she was going to kiss him (!), but instead she gave him a long hug.
Zane enjoyed library time, too, although he's become very shy and clingy when he's around people he doesn't know. He also refuses to walk anywhere that's unfamiliar, whether it be the grass in the backyard, the sidewalk...or the library. He was pretty excited when he realized the library was full of books, though. Thank goodness, he's beginning to enjoy sitting down with a good book :)
Today, I was praising God for the first sign of spring's coming: a single crocus right in front of our living room window. I called Anastasia over to see it and she said, "It's so nice to have flowers again, Mommy!" Then she paused and said, "But hey! We haven't had snow yet!" (I kept telling her we don't always get snow, but as far back and she can remember, we've had it each winter.)
Feeding Zane has become a real chore. He wants to feed himself, but doesn't quite have the ability to spoon food into his mouth very well. I place a bowl on his tray and give him a spoon, and usually I can spoon-feed him a single jar of baby food. The rest of his meal, he insists on being finger food. That's pretty limiting, since he's still not a great chewer! And have I mentioned that he still won't hold his own bottle (although he does fine with a sippy cup of water or juice)? He's also resisting having milk in a cup. The boy doesn't like change!
Last night, however, I offered Zane some broccoli and cauliflower from our meal, which he devoured. Then I offered him some well-cooked noodles. He made lots of happy "mmm" noises, then said, "I like that, Mom." Sometimes he'll also say "thank you" when I give him food or change his diaper. But mostly he still grunts and cries. :D
January 15, 2010
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I can barely keep up with my responsibilities these days!
Melatonin still seems to work well for Anastasia. It's not a magic bullet, but it does help. She doesn't seem to be waking up at night anymore, and if I give her the Melatonin several nights in a row, she's like a totally different kid: more lively, much more happy, hungrier, and without circles under her eyes. Sometimes, the first night I take her off the Melatonin, she's instantly back to her grumpiness. Other times, it takes a few days. I need to discuss this with our pediatrician, since the nurse told me to only give the Miss Melatonin "as needed." I guess after a while your body gets used to it, and you require larger and larger doses.
Zane continues to thrive. He's going through a very shy phase, where he will bury his face in me if he's around anyone he doesn't know well. He toddles everywhere - except outdoors. Not sure what that's about.
Anastasia proudly wearing a matching outfit with her dolly. Zane, proud to finally be able to ride his zebra.
A few funnies:
Several days back, Zane was babbling in baby language and my hubby said, "Zane, you know how to talk. Use your words." Zane instantly replied, chagrinned, "I do!" A few days after that, my hubby said, "Zane, I need to change your butt." Zane replied, "Daddy, you need to change my butt." So he can talk when he wants to...he just chooses to whine and cry most of the time :)
Two days ago, Anastasia was slowly (oh so slowly!) eating some French toast style bread sticks when she looked down at her plate and exclaimed, "Where's my breakfast?!" Her brother had snuck the food off her plate and was eating it.
Anastasia overheard me telling my hubby about a time in my life when I so wished I had a husband and children of my own. She replied, "That's why you were born, Daddy!"
Miss A., upon eating the last of the Christmas
cookies: "I love eating; it's my favorite part of Christmas!" (That made
my jaw drop; usually she tells us she doesn't like eating...But she
does love cookies.)
Zane loves to sit in boxes. Anastasia (looking far too grown up!) in a dress up costume.
Zane feeding himself with a spoon for the first time. (Mostly, though, he finds it too much trouble and prefers Mommy to feed him.) Anastasia looking pouty, wearing a Christmas-package bow in her hair.
December 27, 2009
We were unable to have a big family get together for Christmas. My mom-in-law has a depressed immune system (she's a miracle survivor of ovarian cancer), and we didn't want to expose her to our family's cold. So we stayed at home for the first time ever, and my mother came over for a turkey dinner. It was relaxed and not overwhelming for the kids. We ended the day with Zane in his crib and Miss A. sitting between Mommy and Daddy while eating popcorn and watching a movie. She was in heaven.
Zane's cold, which seemed nearly gone, came back with a vengeance. He is not comfortable, and he lets everyone know it. My hubby and I both have mild colds, too.
Anastasia's cold seems completely gone, and for two of the three evenings I gave her Melatonin, she slept through the night and was a happy, basically behaved child. Then last night, she woke in the wee hours, after urinating in her bed. It's hard to say if this was caused by sleeping deeply due to the Melatonin, since she's done this a couple of times in the past. But, whatever the case, it disturbed her sleep, and today she's a disobedient, defiant, sobbing child. Sigh.
Anastasia on Christmas Eve. Left: With her first Barbie (an "I Love Lucy" doll). Right: With her doll, wearing matching nighties.
Left: Poor little snot nosed Zane, on Christmas morning. Right: The fam.
Anastasia blowing out the candle on Jesus' birthday cake.
December 23, 2009
Anastasia and Zane are still sick with a cold. Although Zane made himself a grumpy patient the first day of this cold (I spent most of the night up with him), he's mostly over it now. I fear Anastasia's cold may be going into her chest.
I haven't tried Anastasia on the melatonin yet, either. I did finally get it from the pharmacy yesterday, but now I can't find a dispenser for 0.25 ml, her starting dose. Last night she was up several times. I'm sure that doesn't help her heal. The good news is, she continues to submit to bedtime much more than she used to.
Zane is now walking all the time, unless he wants to scoot a toy car or train across the floor. I can't believe he's already a toddler!
Here's hoping we're well for Christmas! Please pray that poor Anastasia doesn't develop bronchitis or pneumonia, like last year.
December 19, 2009
There was a mix-up at the pharmacy, and Anastasia's Melatonin didn't come in. But perhaps - just perhaps - we have at least a temporary fix.
When Miss A. doesn't eat well, her daddy gets pretty scared and upset. A few days ago, when she literally ate nothing but a few bites all day, he told her if she didn't eat and get enough sleep, he was going to take her to the hospital where they'd poke her with lots of needles to get food into her body. I wasn't pleased to hear him say this; for one thing, God forbid she ever needs to get IVs due to not eating and drinking enough. She'll be terrified.
But the next day, Anastasia was like a new girl. She went right to sleep at bedtime, was well behaved all day, and ate at every meal. She repeatedly told us she was eating, "just like Daddy told me to." The next day, we saw the same thing. She's a bit crankier today, but she has a cold and was over excited about Grandma coming over. For the time being, at least, she's made up her mind not to fight sleep at bedtime...so she won't have to be poked at the hospital.
Reading a bit more about night terrors, I did find it interesting they are often caused by sleep deprivation. So maybe, if we can get Anastasia to quit fighting sleep, her weird waking up in the middle of the night sleep issues will disappear, too.
Anastasia and I made her first gingerbread house yesterday. She did all the decorating (but that's my miserably-looking frosting), and she was sooooo proud. My niece bought the house kit - and the adorable apron, too.
Zane is doing well. He's getting pickier about his food; he won't eat yogurt anymore, and when I offered him cantaloupe for the first time, he seemed to find it gross. This morning, his bottle wasn't cleaned and sitting on the counter. Apparently, yesterday somebody ran off with it. I've looked high and low, but I can't find it, so I decided it's time to wean him. However, he gets angry every time I offer him milk in his sippy cup. We'll see how it goes.
But the big news is, he's walking more and more every day. Here's a video of him tottering around the house.
December 17, 2009
I just heard back from the nurse (who'd just spoke with the doctor, who is now back from vacation). She said the doc wondered if Anastasia was having night terrors. However, after reading up on this, it doesn't quite fit, as far as I can see. Miss A. doesn't often have nightmares or cry out in the night, as if she's afraid. The bolting upright in bed, being wide-eyed and confused does fit, though. Then I read that many sleep disorders like this in children occur due to sleep deprivation.
The doc also recommended Melatonin, but forgot to give the nurse the correct dosage. At this point, I am ready to try it. Anastasia's been surviving on air, it seems, these past few days. I thought we were beyond the serious eating issues, but it's clear that when she doesn't get enough sleep, they reappear.
December 15, 2009
Today I took this kids' picture to include with our Christmas letter. Ugh. Why do I do these things to myself? Most of the photos turned out like this:
Here are some of the better ones:
Although Zane's taken one or two steps between pieces of furniture before, he's never walked without any aid for more than a couple steps...until last night! When he thought no one was looking, he walked from my desk to a large toy about four feet away. I applauded him, he plopped down on his bottom, looking pleased with himself, and when I asked him to walk toward me, he stood up and took two steps - then got so excited he crawled the rest of the way. Later he took about four steps for Daddy, looking quite self conscious.
He also had his first sweet yesterday: A gingerbread cookie. He wiggled and shook with excitement and couldn't cram it into his mouth fast enough. It's nice to have a child who enjoys food.
Anastasia is still exhausted - and therefore not eating well. She often tells us she doesn't like to eat and will never (ever!) sleep. I have a call in to our pediatrician, who is on vacation. I'm hopeful there might be a diagnosis for Anastasia with regards to her night waking. Or, at least, that we can find some way to help her sleep better.
December 10, 2009
I spent last week without an Internet connection and now I'm busy trying to catch up with work. I apologize for my lack of posts!
Zane is doing well; he feeds himself finger food every day now (thank you, God!) and even tried feeding himself with a spoon. He took one bitefull with a spoon, then seemed satisfied to have mommy do the rest :) He stands independently a lot now, and even takes a few steps when he's concentrating on something else and doesn't realize he's doing it. This morning, he pushed his walker around repeatedly for the first time.
We've had a series of minor accidents lately. First, I locked myself out of the house - with both kids running freely inside. Fortunately, I was able to explain to Anastasia (through the door) how to unlock the door. Whew! Then, when taking Zane out of the bathtub one morning, he slipped out of my arms. I caught him when his head was literally an inch from the side of the tub. Another whew! I think Mommy's been tired!
Then Anastasia, running down the sidewalk one day, tripped on her own feet and banged her forehead on the cement. It scared us all, and she has a large scab on her forehead, but she's fine.
Anastasia continues to have difficulties in the area of sleep. She still wakes up in the middle of the night, turns on her light and opens her door. We find her sitting in bed with her eyes open, but most of the time, if we try to talk to her, she doesn't make any sense. She appears to literally be asleep with her eyes open.
She continues to avoid sleep at all costs. She refuses to nap, and even though I give her an hour of "quiet time" during the day, by evening she's often hysterical and out of control. And yes, she goes to bed early: At 6:30 pm. It's hard on her - and us. We tried giving her over the counter allergy medication, as our pediatrician recommended, but it didn't help a bit.
Sadly, her sleep deprivation also sometimes leads to depression. She'll sit on the floor, crying for no reason, and say, "I just want to be happy!" It breaks our heart. (Giving her a little dark chocolate helps, though!) When she's sleep deprived, she also misbehaves badly, can't concentrate on her school work, and is generally miserable.
Poor kitty!
Zane uses his Tonka dump truck as a recliner every morning.
Last week, Anastasia completed her first jigsaw puzzle entirely on her own.
But here's a little funny for you: Anastasia was playing Little Red Riding Hood to her grandma's Big Bad Wolf when she turned to me and said, "Don't worry, Mommy. We're just pretending. We're not really making each other dead."
November 30, 2009
I had a tiring Thanksgiving weekend, but a good Thanksgiving day. Anastasia was a perfect angel the whole time, which was a GREAT change from last year, where she had temper tantrums galore. A family friend came and brought their baby who is about three months younger than Zane. Anastasia instantly fell in love with him (I'm surprised she didn't ask to bring him home) and Zane played with him a little. He tried to love on him a little, too, by patting his head, but...well, Zane doesn't know his own strength :) And - big news! - Zane began feeding himself. My mom-in-law sent me out of the room, thinking maybe he'd feed himself if I weren't around. She put a graham cracker on his high chair tray and when he picked it up and handed it to her, she said, "Oh no. You're a big boy now; you can feed it to yourself." And he did! For a couple of days after, he'd only put food in his mouth if I put it in his fingers first, but now he's picking up food off his high chair tray, no problem. Thank goodness!
Left: Zane sitting at his new high chair (the small kind that attaches to a chair), feeding himself. Right: Zane climbed into this toy dump truck on his own and sat there for several minutes, pleased with himself.
With an older gift card, we bought Anastasia her own camera. She loves it! She takes photos all day long, from the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes to bed.
November 24, 2009
First, some pics of Anastasia. She helped me make this Pilgrim maiden hat, and then spent the entire morning playing Pilgrim. She dumped toys out of a box and made it her boat, then used her American flag as a sail. We also made a "What I'm Thankful For" turkey; it turned out to be difficult to write on (it was made from a bumpy paper plate) so it's not a good example of her writing skills, but she's still dang cute. (She's thankful for "mom," "dad," Zane, God, our cat, bunnies, deer, our house, the sun, food, and - taking up two spaces - Jesus.)
Other news:
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Zane said "I love you" not for the first time, but for the first time to me, last night :)
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It doesn't seem to occur to Zane to ask others for food. He can be with daddy, for example, for a good hour past his normal eating time, but not fuss. But as soon as he sees me, he crying "Mamamamamama!"
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An example of Zane's eating powers: The other day he ate a 6 oz. jar of apple oatmeal, half a banana, three mommy-sized handfuls of Cheerios, and all but a few bites of a 6 oz. jar of green beans. Good golly!
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A momentous day. I finally found something Zane won't eat: Cream of Wheat!
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Anastasia is behaving better. We played it quite hard-line for a day or two, stating the rule and then offering no leniency whatsoever. Apparently, that's what she needed!
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Miss A., out of the blue yesterday: "When I grow up, can I be an astronaut and a clown???"
November 19, 2009
Today felt like "torture the baby" day. First, I got the kids up an hour earlier than usual so we would be on time for Zane's allergy appointment. (I chose the first appointment of the day, to avoid germs.) I gave the doctor a list of everything Zane ate just before his two rounds of hives, including printed out ingredients lists for the processed food. She instantly ruled out wheat because he's eaten it plenty of times without having hives. She said if he's allergic enough to it to go into anaphylaxis (hives and breathing problems), then even a small amount would cause a serious reaction.
Zane about an hour after his allergy attack on Saturday. It wasn't until the following day his hives and ear swelling and redness disappeared.
Instead, she suspected the berries or peaches in his yogurt. Unfortunately, you can't store the allergen of these foods, so I had to send my hubby to the store (while Zane and I sat in the doctor's office) to buy frozen raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and peaches. The nurse extracted juice from these to use for Zane's allergy test. They also tested for several spices, egg, rye, milk, soybean, arrowroot, cat dander, dust mites, and - because I wondered if it might be making his eczema worse - wheat.
For those not familiar with food allergy testing, they mark up the patient's back with a pen, noting where they plan to inject a certain allergen. Then they inject a small amount of the allergen using a tiny needle. With each needle prick, Zane cried. It really did feel like we were torturing him. Within minutes, however, we had some answers.
Turns out Zane is allergic to cat dander - but that couldn't be the cause of his hives, since he's exposed to it daily. (He also has no runny nose or itchy eyes, so I'm thinking it's a mild allergy.) He had a tiny reaction to dust mites and raspberries. The doctor said people with eczema sometimes test positive for an allergy when they don't have one; she suspected that in this case, but suggested I try feeding Zane a little raspberry (all by itself) and see if he has any problems. There was also a really tiny ("clinically insignificant") reaction to wheat.
But it was clear almost instantly Zane is allergy to egg (white and yolk). And, indeed, last Saturday I'd given him his first taste of scrambled egg. "But he's had a seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccination; wouldn't he have had hives after them?" I asked. The doctor said she's never seen someone who's allergic to eggs have an allergic reaction to a vaccine; the amount in the vaccine is tiny, and varies according to the batch of vaccine given.
"But he didn't have eggs in April, when he had his first hives," I said.
She argued it's been too long ago to accurately know what happened at that time. She said I could have touched some egg, then touched Zane, causing him to have a reaction. Or he could have just had an unaccounted for immune system malfunction. (Which the pediatrician already told us does sometimes happen.) Or he could have had a reaction to a food he's no longer allergic to. Since we tested him for everything he ate in April, at least I can feel sure we didn't miss a current allergy to something he ate back then.
So...the doctor said he can have his second round of H1N1 vaccination, but next year he should come to her for his flu vaccination. They will test his skin with some of the vaccine before injecting it into him. (By then, she said, he may no longer have an allergy to eggs, anyway.)
Left: Zane trying to feed himself apples. Right: Learning to operate and open the dishwasher (!).
She gave me a list of alternative names for eggs that are often found on products (Why don't they simply label the food as containing egg??) and said some kids can eat cooked egg (like you'd find in a cake) without a problem, but if he's not had anything like that before, she'd want to test him in her office, so I didn't have to deal with his anaphylaxis on my own. But when I got home, I checked a few of his baby foods that have pasta. They have egg whites in them, so I'm thinking he should be fine with baked goods.
She also prescribed an Epipen for him, in case of emergency.
The entire appointment took two and a half hours, and poor Anastasia and her daddy waited in the truck for us. (We didn't want to expose the Miss to H1N1 germs.) I hear she was perfectly behaved, though.
Next we drove to our local hospital to get a blood draw to test Zane for Celiac Disease. Poor Miss A. She didn't want him to get his blood drawn. "But it might kill him!" she said. After I assured her that it wouldn't kill him (!), she seemed content.
Since I learned yesterday his great-grandfather has it, I'm glad we're getting the screening out of the way. (Celiac Disease can be hereditary.) It took two of us holding Zane down, one to draw his blood, and another to make faces trying to make him stop crying to get the job done. I imagine we'll hear back on that test next week.
By the way, a long time reader asked how Anastasia's H1N1 vaccination (the first one) went. Sorry I didn't mention it - but it went just as smooth as could be. She had no reaction to it (we always give the kids thimerosal-free vaccinations) and the doctor's office was nearly empty - which is the way we like it :)
Anastasia wearing her "good girl sticker" after her first H1N1 vaccination.
November 17, 2009
Today I was supposed to blog about Prematurity Awareness Month. For reasons I'll explain in just a moment, instead I'm going to direct you to the "Fight for Preemies" in the right hand column of this blog, and to one of my previous posts about Prematurity Awareness Month.
We had a nice visit with my dad, although we mostly stayed inside the house because it was too cold to do much outside, and I wanted to keep the kids away from public places. (Zane's H1N1 shot doesn't "kick in" for another week or so; Anastasia's about a week later.) But one event overshadowed everything else: Zane had another serious allergic reaction.
Since his last bout with hives (in April), Zane has seemed well, except for teething-related issues and a little bit of eczema. But on Saturday, Zane became fussy, and we noticed one of his eyes was red. Because he was rubbing his eyes and hadn't yet had his nap, I thought he was just tired and had scratched one of his eyes while rubbing it. So I put him to bed.
I think God was whispering in my ear, though, because I felt something wasn't quite right. I turned on Zane's baby monitor, which I never do, unless I happen to go outside when he's napping. After a few minutes, I heard him cough strangely. I ran into his room and found him covered with hives. His ears were also swollen. I gave him Benadryl right away. (Thankfully, I'd just posted a Benadryl dosage chart in our bathroom; the bottle doesn't specify dosages for babies.) His cough went away quickly (and since a cough is the first thing that happens before your throat swells shut during an allergic reaction, this was relieving). Within an hour, he wasn't so itchy, although his hives didn't completely disappear until the next morning.
I checked on him several times that night. I was afraid his hives would return and his breathing would be affected, but as it turned out, he kept getting better and didn't need any more Benadryl.
My first thought was that I'd given him eggs for the first time that day. Then I realized that not only had I given him a tiny amount of eggs, but he's had an H1N1 and seasonal flu shot - so egg has been directly injected into his body before. Therefore, it seemed unlikely the egg was what caused his reaction. Then I began reading labels. In the morning, I'd given him an arrowroot biscuit. (A new food for him and the very first thing he's ever held and fed to himself.) It has wheat as one of the main ingredients. Later, I'd given him some graham crackers. Also full of wheat. Just before his reaction - and when he began acting grumpy and tired - I'd given him some YoBaby yogurt. To my surprise, this too has wheat as a primary ingredient. I've suspected he's had some sort of allergy to wheat since he began eating solids. Usually, it just seemed his eczema would flare up after eating quite a bit of wheat. But in April, when he had hives previously, he'd YoBaby yogurt and a "granola" baby food that actually had no nuts, but lots of wheat.
(You might wonder why I'd give him YoBaby yogurt again after this. Truth is, he's eaten it many times and never had a reaction. I believe he handles a certain amount of wheat fine...or at least, it doesn't give him hives. It's when he has "too much" that hives appear.)
On Monday, I called my pediatrician's office. I wanted to know if it was smarter to completely cut wheat from Zane's diet, or to allow him to have a small amount. I also wondered if there was such a thing as an EpiPen for a 13 month old child. (EpiPens provide quick medication for people having a serious allergic reaction; they are literally life-saving.)
Naturally, I had to speak to a nurse first. She seemed shocked I didn't bring Zane to the doctor on Saturday, and she said we were fortunate the Benadryl worked. This was in contrast to the nurse I spoke to in April, who seemed to think all would be well if I kept Benadryl on hand.
When I spoke to our pediatrician, she thought it prudent to get right to work to see what Zane's allergic to. At his one year check up, we'd talked about doing some blood work, but at that time, our doctor felt it could wait until the whole H1N1 thing had calmed down. But now that he's had a second, very serious reaction, she doesn't want to delay any longer.
So she's sending us to an allergist on the 19th. She hopes the allergist can pin-point what Zane is allergic to - if he's allergic to something. She also wants to do a blood test to check for an auto-immune disease called Celiac Disease, which can cause allergy-like reactions if wheat is consumed.
In the meantime, I'm on pins and needles. I have to keep giving Zane some wheat or the blood test for Celiac Disease won't work. So every time he takes a nap, I turn up the baby monitor all the way, and check on him now and then. Since his allergy symptoms make him appear tired at first (making me put him to bed), he could be alone when his hives break out. And since both times he's had hives he's had the beginnings of breathing problems (wheezing the first time, a choking cough the second time), it's possible he could suffocate (from a swollen throat) and I'd never know it.
I am thankful I live in a day and age where medicine has been able to save the lives of both my children. Even in the early 1990s, Anastasia probably wouldn't have survived. And before antihistamines, Zane would have died.
Humbling isn't quite the right word for how this makes me feel, but it's the only word I can think of that comes close.
November 11, 2009
Yesterday, I called the pediatrician's office to see if they had any H1N1 vaccinations. They said they didn't. But early this morning, the receptionist called saying they had a dose appropriate for Anastasia. So, on Friday morning, off she goes. I admit I'm nervous. It seems strange that, when Zane is only 4 lbs. lighter than Anastasia, her dose is significantly different.
Yesterday, Anastasia and I made a study of worms. We dug them from the garden, brought them inside and looked at them in a clear jar. Later, Anastasia let them crawl all over her; here she's giggling because it tickled when the worm moved across her hand.
In other news, Zane cracks us up :D He doesn't talk much, and when he does speak, it's usually because it just seems to burst out. For example, a while back Anastasia took a toy from him and he said, "Anastasia!" And two days ago, he twice told me, "Hungry, mama!"
He eats nearly anything (unless it's hard, like a nut) now, but he still refuses to feed himself. In fact, when I put food on his high chair tray, before I even have a chance to walk away he starts yelling, crumbling the food in his hands, and throwing it onto the floor.
The "experts" say if you have one strong-willed child, you're unlikely to have another. Sigh. They never met my family, I guess!
In an effort to get away from processed foods, I'm now making our daily 100% wheat bread. But I cheat. I use the bread maker. Here are both kids, so excited about that kitchen gadget. Neither had ever seen me use it.
P.S. I probably won't blog again until mid-week, next week. My dad is coming for a visit :)
November 7 (part II)
So by the time the doctor's office called back, Anastasia seemed back to her normal self. She's currently bouncing all around the house :) However, they did say that with her history, they would want to see her right away if she had any symptoms of H1N1. It's good to know they take it so seriously, and that if she does come down with that nasty bug, we can expect cooperative, early treatment.
November 7, 2009
This morning, Anastasia vomited. She seemed listless for a while, then perked up. Since lunch, she says her tummy hurts and she's nearly vomited a few times, but hasn't actually done it. She seems pretty tired. I've tried to see if she might feel achy. She says no, but it's hard to know if she really knows what I'm talking about. I have a call in to the pediatric office; I told them I was being overly careful because she is so high risk for H1N1. Hopefully, I'll hear back from them soon and they'll just tell me to watch her carefully.
Yesterday, Anastasia said she wanted to marry Zane when she grew up. Ah, innocence! She can't quite understand why that's a bad idea :)
Anastasia climbing her first tree. She got up and down entirely by herself - several times.
November 6, 2009
Zane got his H1N1 shot today. It was a madhouse, even though it was by appointment only, in a pediatrician's office. I wasn't looking forward to more of the chaos on Monday, when Anastasia was scheduled for her shot...then the pediatrician called to cancel her appointment. Apparently, someone made a huge mistake and they don't have any H1N1 vaccine in the correct dose for Anastasia. So...we're waiting again.
In other news, Zane can now open doors inside the house...
Anastasia's been loving the fall weather. Today, she climbed a tree for the first time! (It was a small (about five or six foot) maple, but still!)
November 4, 2009
Today we snuck Anastasia into the pediatrician's office at an early hour and she got her seasonal flu vaccine. Then this afternoon the doctor's office called to let us know they have H1N1 shots for both kids; they have to get them on separate days, for some reason, but at least they won't be in a clinic setting, with lots of germy people. Zane is scheduled for Friday, and Anastasia, Monday.
I have butterflies. This has been a difficult decision for us. Intellectually, I feel it's probably safer for Anastasia (with her chronic lung disease) to get the vaccination than to not. But emotionally, it makes me nervous.
If you think of it, please pray for our little family.
Anastasia mopping the floor for the first time. Literally, she's been begging me to let her do this for at least six months. I finally bought a Swiffer for the purpose, since it's lightweight and you can easily adjust the handle length. She was thrilled! (And somehow the costume - part of her Raggedy Ann costume - fits in!)
"Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world in letters
too large for some of us to see."
C. S. Lewis
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